I've been contemplating doing this for some time. There are so many things that have happened in my life that I want to share with others. Nothing earth shattering, but I hope what I've been through and my thoughts on it might help others going through the same things. At this point in my life I am in my mid 50s, never married, a single parent with a son in his mid 20s. My mother and stepfather helped me raise him, but most of that responsibility rightfully fell on me. At present my family consists of my son, my 80 something mother and me. The rest of my close family have passed away. That's a quick overview of my past, but much more to pass on as we move along in this experiment called a blog.
I guess you could say I've always been a loner. Not really by choice, but because that's how I always seemed to end up. I was an overweight child and teen and it shaped a lot of my time growing up. But I must also add, not where my family was concerned. My parents,my paternal grandmother, who lived with us, and my younger brother, gave me a wonderful childhood. At home and with them I was a truly happy child. School,particularly high school,was not always pleasant for me. I had very few close friends, and my best experiences were outside of school. Girl Scouts, and church activities were always somewhere I felt I fit in. School,on the other hand, I definitely felt like I was on the outside looking in. I was the fat kid who was made fun of. Plus my eyesight wasn't the best and I had to sit in the front of the class. Just one more thing to torment me about. Grade school wasnt as bad as high school though. That's when things really unbearable.
I grew up in a small suburb of a big northeast city. My town's high school was small, it was a junior/senior high school, grades 7-12. So I started junior high at age 11 in the early 70s. The name calling, bullying and tormenting only increased once I started high school. I did not know how to counter all of it,how to deal with it on a daily basis. The only advice the adults in my life told me was to ignore it. Don't let them know it bothers you. So I tried to take that advice and so when things got really bad,I blocked them and everything out. I thought about other things,I day dreamed, did what ever I had to so I didn't pay attention to what they were throwing my way. Unfortunately when I did that I sometimes missed the few friends I had trying to get my attention. I still feel bad about that,even all these years later. My intent was never to ignore them, but to just get through a bad day.
It seemed in each 'part' of my life, I've had one close friend, but then as time went by, they moved on and I was once again on my own. I thought about this once and I realized that every significant event in my life, good or bad, I've had to go through alone. I never had anyone there with me for morale support, to give me a hug, or congratulate me in the good times. In a later post I will explain this in more detail.
But not all of this blog will be my past experiences. My thoughts on today's world and anything crazy that might make me smile. And I must a share some of my favorites things with all of you in hopes you might enjoy them too. I think I've talked enough for a first time post,so I'll head off to think of more enlightening things to share. Til then, peace out!
